we'll see, growth without goals, energy privilege
we'll see, growth without goals, energy privilege
Ashley Zhang down the human flourishing 🐇🕳️
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Cool things curated in our universe
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GOALS ARE FOR LOSERS
This - by Scott Adams - made me think:
To put it bluntly, goals are for losers. That’s literally true most of the time. For example, if your goal is to lose ten pounds, you will spend every moment until you reach the goal—if you reach it at all—feeling as if you were short of your goal. In other words, goal-oriented people exist in a state of nearly continuous failure that they hope will be temporary. That feeling wears on you. In time, it becomes heavy and uncomfortable. It might even drive you out of the game… If you achieve your goal, you celebrate and feel terrific, but only until you realize you just lost the thing that gave you purpose and direction. Your options are to feel empty and useless, perhaps enjoying the spoils of your success until they bore you, or set new goals and reenter the cycle of permanent presuccess failure.
Alternatives to looking for goals:
Instead of looking for goals, look for exploration. Exploration is continuous, there is no end point. Focusing on exploration is very rewarding all the time. It may produce things that look like end points, like achievements, but those things are just byproducts.
Beware of looking for goals: look for a way of life. Decide how you want to live and then see what you can do to make a living WITHIN that way of life. (full quote here)
Curating many more mind-bending perspective shifters here.
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ENERGY PRIVILEGE
We talk about beauty privilege but rarely talk about energy privilege. This - by Stephen Malina - was a really interesting read on energetic aliens, which he describes as people who mostly satisfy the first three criteria and possibly the fourth:
Able to indefinitely sustain focus on cognitive tasks for more than the well-documented 4-6 hours a day without burning out or starting to make tons of mistakes.
Often described as full of energy or having an abundance of energy.
Obsessed with their work.
(Optional) Can function well while getting less than or equal to 6 hours of sleep.
The full thing is full of fascinating examples and worth a read.
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MY FAVORITE FABLE
There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit.
"Such bad luck," they said sympathetically.
"We'll see," the farmer replied.
The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses.
"How wonderful," the neighbors exclaimed.
"We'll see," replied the old man.
The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune.
"We'll see," answered the farmer.
The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out.
"We'll see" said the farmer.
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RELATIONSHIP WELLNESS WITHOUT THE CRINGE
My college bestie just launched One Two - which she describes as relationship wellness without the cringe.
Services for couples tend to focus on couples therapy: either the traditional variety, or some technology-enabled version that tries to automate the therapists role. One Two is more like a vacation than a conference. The first few retreats are happening in NYC and knowing her I bet she’ll put something special together. If you live in NYC and your interest is piqued, learn more here.
Curator spotlight
ASHLEY ZHANG
writer, thinker (and startupy microgrant recipient)
twitter.com/ashleydzhang
www.ashleydzhang.com/
Rabbit hole: Human Flourishing
Why is human flourishing interesting?
“How shall I live?” is a question humans have asked themselves across cultures and centuries. Today, when faced with more possibilities than ever before, figuring out what is essential to a life well-lived helps us determine what is worthy of our time and attention. Though we live in an age of unprecedented prosperity, the paths to the “good life” remain hazy. One thing is clear: We want to not merely survive, but to flourish.
Human flourishing is, admittedly, a broad, nebulous, age-old topic. But that’s what makes it exciting. We have the wisdom of the ages, along with new thinkers from a wide range of disciplines, to call upon in our exploration of how to live. This is not merely a philosophical endeavor, but one that weaves science, spirituality, the arts, technology, psychology — nearly every conceivable domain — into a shared dialogue, one that can point us to more vibrant, connected, and meaningful lives for ourselves and for mankind.
A podcast worth listening to on the topic?
Timeless Wisdom for Leading a Life of Love, Friendship and Learning - The New York Times
Biologist and philosopher Leon Kass, who taught at the University of Chicago, has centered his life’s work around the question: “What does it mean to live a meaningful life?” In conversation with political and cultural commentator David Brooks, he explores topics such as discovering one’s vocation, nurturing friendships, creating successful romantic relationships, and devoting our lives to something greater than ourselves.
Things worth reading and watching on the topic?
Letters To A Young Poet (Rainer Maria Rilke): A series of letters from Austrian poet Rainer Maria Rilke to a young aspiring poet who asked him for advice on how to live, this book is valuable for anyone grappling with loneliness and struggling to orient themselves in the world.
Man’s Search For Meaning (Viktor Frankl): This book graces many recommendation lists for books on how to live, for good reason. An Austrian psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, Frankl offers a stunning glimpse into the lowest and highest expressions of humanity and lessons on how to find meaning in suffering.
“Stutz” (documentary, available on Netflix): A poignant, candid documentary directed by Jonah Hill on his therapist, Phil Stutz, that illuminates Stutz’s unique approach to therapy and the psychological tools he shares with his patients to navigate the pains and uncertainties of living.
The Midlife Crisis (Kieran Setiya): The midlife — or quarter-life — crisis seems to occur when people examine the course of their lives and wonder what it was all for and what it will lead to. Philosopher Kieran Setiya argues that we can resolve or prevent this painful crisis of meaning by investing in atelic ends, or activities with no terminal point.
The School of Life’s YouTube channel: Founded by philosopher Alain de Botton, the School of Life offers short, thoughtful videos on a wide range of topics that help us better understand ourselves and navigate the modern world.
Projects worth following on the topic?
On Being (Krista Tippett): Through intimate conversations with thinkers from all walks of life, this podcast by Krista Tippett explores universal questions of meaning that help expand our inner worlds and pay closer attention to the outer world. My favorite episodes to start with are those with poet Mary Oliver, theologian John O’Donohue, and writer Maria Popova.
The Marginalian (Maria Popova): A one-woman labor of love, Brain Pickings curates snippets of wisdom from thinkers and writers across time and space.
How to Build a Life - The Atlantic: While I disagree that happiness should be the end for which to aim, Arthur Brooks writes thoughtful pieces on the conundrums we face in our everyday lives, from frustrating jobs to the holiday blues, and how to navigate them.
Bonus
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